I am so sorry you are suffering alone and you have no friends. Life is so difficult when you have no friends and have to live on your own. But you know what, if you try to use it with a positive outlook and I am sure you will be unbeatable. You need to find your solace in your loneliness and be your own friend, I am not suggesting that you should be always on your own and never talk to anyone else. It is not possible. But, when you are alone, try to be comfortable and enjoy your own company. If people who mingle with you well come into your life, accept and give your efforts to make that relationship work. Otherwise, you should be good on your own too. You should try this too, it will help you a lot https://mmjdoctor.com/5-inspiring-medical-marijuana-stories-from-real-life-patients/
Take care!